Sanity Injection

Injecting a dose of sanity into your day’s news and current events.

Iran punishes soccer players for playing soccer

Posted by sanityinjection on January 26, 2009

The new conventional wisdom here in our kinder, gentler, Obamiffier America is that if we just treat Iran like any other normal country, they’ll behave more like any other country.

With this in mind, consider the following. The managers and coaches of the men’s and women’s teams of a soccer club in Iran have been suspended and fined for the crime of allowing the men’s and women’s teams to – gasp! play a soccer match against each other!

This heinous and vile crime of course immediately led to a huge sex orgy between the players followed by the triumph of Satan on earth.

No, just kidding. The men’s team won 7-0.  No sex, kissing or batting of eyelashes was reported. It was, however, the first sporting event between men and women in Iran’s history.

In Iran, it is illegal for members of one gender to even watch the other gender playing soccer. This policy is so stupid and has so little to do with Islam or Iranian culture that even President Ahmadinejad, a hard-line conservative, recommended that it be changed.  Of course, it’s the guys in the turbans that really run Iran, so Ahmadinejad was ignored.

I recall playing soccer as a youth on mixed teams of girls and boys. I think the soccer field was probably the one place in my life where I spent the least time thinking about girls as amorous objects, because I was too busy viewing them as soccer players – sweating and often dirty ones at that.  At most, I might have noticed a cute ponytail here or there. Which wouldn’t be a problem in Iran because the female players keep their hair covered when they play, in keeping with the Islamic tradition of their country.

If the Iranian mullahs honestly think that men and women are going to be tempted to fornicate if you allow them to coexist – even as opponents – on a soccer field for a limited length of time, they really need to pull their collective thumbs out of their collective asses and try to rediscover how ordinary people behave. Maybe then they wouldn’t be so afraid of their own people.

But I’m sure if we just start being nice to them, they’ll turn into enlightened, peaceful neighbors and stop supporting Islamic terrorists. Right?

This is what we’re up against. You can’t reason with crazy.

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One Response to “Iran punishes soccer players for playing soccer”

  1. sanityinjection said

    In a related story, the Islamic Republic of Iran has successfully repelled an attack by 8 young American women wielding badminton rackets. The Iranian Foreign Ministry acted swiftly to prevent the elite team of American spies from infiltrating the country, thereby protecting legions of Iranian men from being hypnotized by their naked thighs and women from being corrupted and led into prostitution:

    http://abcnews.go.com/International/wireStory?id=6801032

    Seriously, what kind of government is afraid of badminton players?

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